Diary of an NPC (Needy Poor Creature)

Idk how much time I have to spare so this may be very short depending on the qns... Q41: How would you feel if you never saw them again? i guess this 'them' is generic, in the sense that it really applies to anyone. but i think that, if they were close, i'd just be shocked? idk how upset i will be, because that really depends on many things like how sudden it was, how close we were etc. But i think that it is not going to be a good feeling. i KNOW it is not going to be a good feeling, because i've been there before, and in some ways it felt like betrayal, even though it isn't. it's just that sometimes u feel like u don't know why they just left? and they never told u so even though u were close? where did that communication go? did we just spend so many years together but u forgot to tell me u were going?  i mean ofc if it's like a sudden death then it's different. it's more of a betrayal from the higher being that 'fuck u why'd u do that...

Just taking some time off the projects to do this, because I'm pretty sure I won't be able to do over the wkend unless my adrenaline rush is insane or im unusually productive Q38: If I wrote a book about my grandma, what would be the last line?  "I miss your cooking". Let her cook. Lowkey unhealthy but it's nice.  Q39: Who saved me when I was at my lowest?  Honestly...I would say myself? As in I have had many periods of time when I was "low", and I had friends who would come and support me and offer me advice and I'm of course thankful for them and to them. But I think there's only so much they can do. What I decide to do with their advice, and with their support, is what would allow me to safe myself. I can't even think of my lowest point tbh...teenage insecurities, losing close friends, making some big mistakes that ruined friendships..I mean, nothing has really broke me to the extent where i am crying about it. The worst has always been ju...

welp okay so I CAN GET BACK ON SCHD BECAUSE WTF IS THIS PROCRASTINATION RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH anyways. Q33: What's something my mom told me that I'll never forget?  When she said that hotpot is not a traditional CNY dish and that it is more troublesome to prep it than the traditional dishes (like abalone and mushrooms or the vegetarian dish), some of which might have to be done overnight. LIKE it just doesn't make sense?? I know my direct relatives on my dad's side are all picky eaters but FOR ONE DAY IN CNY CANNOT JUST EAT HOTPOT AH? what in the world sia... (i'm skipping Q34 because it is repeated).  Q35: What is one memory from my childhood that instantly makes me smile?  wow honestly say reals...it would just be the fun I have playing soccer everyday during recess and sometimes after school on the hard concrete school field. I think that was really the epitome of fun and innocence and just not worrying about the things that I would have to worry about in secondary ...

Q29: What's something you're holding onto that's still hurting you?  That when I was a facilitator for freshmen orientation (and also a gamemaster for business camp), I went in with a mindset of wanting to find friends, and get some close ones. The first is true, more so for business camp, but I found new friends from both. But I never found close ones because I had a bit of (unfortunate) tension with some people in FO and I also never took the opportunity to "cling" onto a grp, but rather I just floated around. And for business camp, I missed half of it because of COVID. And that bout of COVID was the main reason I had tension in FO anyways (maybe I shld have just been hyper asf throughout then maybe it'd have been mitigated somehow, though I'm not sure if I'd have survived..) But yes, that I didn't find any close friends still haunts me. And also that I think there were (unfair) rumours of me spreading, that's part of the reason why I didn...

welp just tryna clear this asap so...here goes  3! oh and btw here's an update on Q24 for ystd's post: Q24: Who do I miss most in my life?  Okay let's be real...honestly at different times I just miss different (groups of) people. Like I feel that at some point that person and I vibed quite well, but because we ended up not having that commonality after a while, I think that it just became quite difficult to maintain? Especially since I think that everyone nowadays is highly likely a bad texter. In the sense that when you drop them a message there's quite a high chance that they won't reply you at all and leave your message unread. Or even worse, they read your message and don't reply when it was a question. I think a lot of it boils down to how busy people like to keep themselves, so we end up just wrapping ourselves in a cocoon doing work.  But I think that also made me realise something (which I saw on tt and I agree) - people who reply quickly are not desper...