clearing the Backlog - 18th-20th March

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welp just tryna clear this asap so...here goes  3!

oh and btw here's an update on Q24 for ystd's post:

Q24: Who do I miss most in my life? 

Okay let's be real...honestly at different times I just miss different (groups of) people. Like I feel that at some point that person and I vibed quite well, but because we ended up not having that commonality after a while, I think that it just became quite difficult to maintain? Especially since I think that everyone nowadays is highly likely a bad texter. In the sense that when you drop them a message there's quite a high chance that they won't reply you at all and leave your message unread. Or even worse, they read your message and don't reply when it was a question. I think a lot of it boils down to how busy people like to keep themselves, so we end up just wrapping ourselves in a cocoon doing work. 

But I think that also made me realise something (which I saw on tt and I agree) - people who reply quickly are not desperate for attention, but they know how it is like to not have reciprocation at all and they just wanna show you that you are there. Like personally I've had my fair share of bad texters. I've never hated people for it, but at times it just gets annoying because I genuinely want to talk about smth personal or impt but you don't read the message. But I understand that everyone has their own problems and their own things to do like homework and extra-curriculars, and sometimes their interface might just be flooded with texts and they just miss it. I mean, I know that sometimes I also don't reply instantly because I am just not in the mood to have a conversation because I am busy doing my own things. 

But back to the point of missing someone a lot - I think that's why I end up missing the close bad texters the most, because you want to remain close to them but there isn't the opportunity to do so on a consistent basis. 

Onto today's:

Q26: if you could bring them back, who do you wish you could have said goodbye to? 

I'd say my paternal grandmother. Because she was the one that lived the longest (I was 14 when she passed) but I never got the chance to say goodbye to her because tldr she just went unconscious overnight and didn't wake up one morning. And she never awoke in the hospital too so...yea. I miss her. 

Q27: What's something you've finally accepted? 

That friends come and go, and that it is part and parcel of life. In the moment I lose a friend I will still be in a shit state for a while, but I get over it quicker now. But I will never forget how we were when we were friends, because I can never rid myself of that sentimentality. So the self-doubt moments still creep in, but I will be okay :-)

Q28: Are you winning the battle you never tell anyone about? 

No. And I'm not gonna share it here :') Maybe I never will share it to anyone. 
p.s. don't worry it's not about suicide or depression. 

- steve, who is actually not an open book as previously proclaimed :)

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