when we fall asleep, where do we go?

idk i just like the billie eilish vibes, especially pre-bad guy. and of course this is the time when she put millions on her close friends' list. 

Q51: who was the first person i looked up to? 

Honestly, aside from my parents, I never really looked up to anyone as a role model. I don't think I ever saw myself as "wanting to be exactly like that guy/girl". Like, I respect people for who they are obviously, but I don't see anyone embodying that same idea of who I want to be in themselves. Even if say the first person I really respected was Alex Ferguson, or some primary school teacher I had, there are things I don't agree with what they do. So I guess, if you consider "looking up" to a person as "role model", I'd say no one. Because I don't want to take on what I think are flaws of other people in myself. 

I think obviously that's really delulu and wishful thinking, but I'd say it's just part of me trying to be the best version of myself. If you say that "looking up" in the sense of "immense respect", then maybe I'd say that it's Ferguson. Or Dwyane Wade. I can't remember which first, but I'd say it's one of those two. 

- steve, who goes into unconscious fantasia when asleep.