weekend recap

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kinda just recovering this wkend. been a...long but not so long week? i mean its only gonna get worse ig

saturday was just me waking up and watching f1. then go for lunch when the aunty at the fishball noodle stall at golden mile said my disney shirt was damn nice (the one with all the disney characters on the front) xdd. then co prac was abit wild (as usual) i didnt even know emix used the dance studio beside on saturdays (saw a couple of familiar faces). then went to the kampong glam ramadan bazaar (havent been to one in ages) and gosh it was damn crowded AHHAHA kinda wish i had a couple more food items but we ended up sharing everything and damn i realised how exotic the food choices can get cuz they were rly like a variety from many diff cuisines. ended up spending about 13 bucks per person (which is not bad for a kebab, cheese friens, baked potato, and vadas (indian fried potato-based dumplings). also saw lawrence wong walk past and we were like wtf this is the right evening to go HAHAH cuz we saw him

sunday was...idk man i just felt so unmotivated to do work after coming back from baseball. still cant get my eye in on baseball bcuz its just different from (slow-pitch) softball, but the company is decent. was supposed to do work after coming back but i swear the sleep deprivation is really hitting me hard this wk (or maybe its just tiredness from thinking about things), and so i just watched f1 then toh then watch youtube for the rest of the day (and scroll ig reels LOL)

a part of me still thinks about the lost friendships. and i dont actively find fault with them for distancing themselves from me because a lot of it was my fault/circumstantially unfortunate, but there is that voice inside my head that is telling me that i should hate them for just leaving. but i also know that, in response to that voice, that some things are better fixed alone and some lines that shouldnt have been crossed were crossed. which sucks, but hopefully over the next 5 weeks i drown in work instead of drowning in emotions. this is not to say i dont feel regret or remorse or wtv - i do - but i cant always harp on the past without moving on from it, even for someone like me who is super sentimental and conscious about the friendships that rly matter. and i definitely still reminisce of the times we spend together, and what could have been down the line is just gone. i dont even know if there is a thread anymore that is hanging there, or if there is any available to rebuild from scratch, and it really hurts to the core. but i think another thing that this debacle taught me is that i should really be grateful of the people who are there, because u nvr know when they are just gone

- steve, who is really gonna die in hell week if he doesnt start today (monday)

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