first day of...school?

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i mean i only went back to school because of some seminar at night LOL. 

but i think a lot of today was spent still trying to process the emotions of being rejected. and yknow the funniest part is when u see someone else literally type it in smu confessions as well, like THE TIMING? i mean, it's definitely difficult because what made u fall for the person instead of just the mere idea was so much more than just 'she looks pretty' - u had the romantic idea of being with the person over a long term, and the fun activities u would like to do together as a completely hypothetical couple, and u longed to be with them and their absence made ur heart yearn to be with them, amongst other things. i wont lie, its definitely much btr now, but the thoughts still come and go. but unlike the philadephia 76ers, i am confident in this process of rebuilding (healing)

again, i don't know if she is reading this, but if she is then: i hope u r doing better on a day-to-day basis too, and that u r one step closer (or more) towards finding ur original self again

also had to struggle through project work because my mind was just all over the place, and personally i hate it when it's like...so last minute that we realised we were missing sample prototypes for our project. and also i mean idk this group does feel all over the place also...i lowkey hate tuesday classes SO MUCH like iw get out and...oh wait i still have an individual assignment to submit fk okay im not done until study week for this mod GRRRRRAHHHH

and i think i nvr mentioned this, but my main goals for this year were to be more caring towards my friends especially when they are down, and also more unhinged. so, to everyone who reads this, i hope u r doing well, and u swell past the stormy tides. and if u r crashing out, just embrace the pain and hurt and the healing effect will come on stronger and quicker. love u guys ~

- steve, who realised today that if u make urself one with the pain sooner or later u will be numb to it and u can move on with daily life more easily (he knows its torturous, but he also wants the torture quick and swift so it doesn't drag on)

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