Diary of an NPC (Needy Poor Creature)

bcuz this is so damn unhealthy grrr.... Q58: if I were told I only had 5 months to live, what would I do?  this is the kinda question u ask when u watch those emo movies like 'the fault in our stars'. and of course me being me i've dabbled in these thoughts before bcos u nvr know how things can change in the blink of an eye, at the snap of a couple fingers.  so i guess here they are:  1) go to old trafford (and allianz arena and/or signal iduna park on an actual matchday) 2) see the norway fjords 3) climb a mountain more than 1km tall 4) go to machu picchu 5) go see new zealand and australia 6) (if i haven't been to japan then) go to japan hopefully i can see the sakura 7) write letters to all my close friends 8) yknow the meme where they say "if i win the lottery, i won't say that i did it but there will be signs"? same for this i won't publicly say it but i'll be like matthew perry was and have all these cryptic messages that make it seem like so...

i mean I AM SO ECSTATIC BCOS I LITERALLY CALLED THE WIN A WEEK AGO (lowkey it was in a state of delulu but i'll milk all the credit i can get). but anyways, back to the questions:  Q56: when was a time you noticed someone's attitude or feelings changed towards you?  maybe it's a sign to have less female friends, but i think this past sem i feel like there was a period of time when i was quite close to this girl, but throughout the sem i feel like i j got more detached from her bcos she is constantly trying to boost her portfolio and take internships and other side hustles. even during the sem, for some reason she j started growing more detached? yknow like those kind of one-word replies that lack emotion or just feel straight-up cold? yea those kind of texts when u ask them whr they r or what they r doing or why they nvr come class...idk it feels so different, like some ppl j get so wrapped up in their portfolio-chasing that they leave their friends by the way-side. and it...

OKAY I PROMISE IM BACK FOR REAL THIS TIME. promise (me no promises) Q54: if i were to relive the same day over and over, what day would it be?  the thing is, i cant think of a perfect day (idw to choose a shit asf day bcos i want this to be a happy entry). like everyday that i can think of off the top of my head has had at least one downside. but maybe i'd say the day when i climbed a mountain by myself in hong kong. sometime in mid-may 2023. before my summer got gradually worse. i guess that day was full of self-discovery, exploration (and to j spontaneously decide okay im gna do this shit myself even though the weather was overcast but the rain was very unlikely to hit thank god) and just a sense of freedom that reminded me of why, sometimes, it is better to be single - freer, richer, more individualistic, no need for responsibility to others...yea :') - steve, just been lazy and procrastinating the blog im sorry guys

am back. 29 days after the last entry. oops. but if i get a gpa of 3.6 and above this sem it wld be worth it ig Q53: What dream do I have that will never come true?  too many man...honestly I think the most recent one is that I woke up on Monday morning having been in a dream that I got a personalised email from my MA prof who said that I did exceedingly well (and exceeded expectations) for finals and the module overall..i mean the results haven't been released but i know for a fact that my MA finals is NOT gonna be like above 85 overall (and the class is quite smart in numbers) so yea... but in general i do fantasize a lot so i do get a lot of weird dreams (consciously and unconsciously) about what an ideal world wld be like, or vice versa. i think that it is quite therapeutic to reflect but also just wonder at what something can be, for better or worse.  - steve, who promises to keep to the schedule of one question every weekday and two every weekend