Clearing the backlog - 8th and 9th Mar (Sat)

oops been busy with stuff again, here's just me with a little bit of free time since project took quicker than I realised..

12/348: If I wrote a book about my mom, what would be the last line? 

Ngl, sometimes my mom's mood swings terrify me. Like, she can go from being rational one moment and the next when I'm disagreeing with her over something it's like "okay if udw to listen fine." I mean, LOL it's like classic problems when arguing with the older generation maybe about how "we are strawberries" or "we don't know how to save up and live frugally". 

Anyways, I guess the last line would be: "If it weren't for you, I don't think I would be as headstrong as I am now". Disclaimer: being headstrong imo is not a bad thing. Of course, there is a limit to which that I think should be observed, and I am consciously trying not to cross it. But being headstrong means standing up for what you believe in, and for the people around you that matter most, too. So thanks Mom :-)

13/348: What scares me the most about my future? 

I think it's the fact that I don't know if I can clear my bucket list. I think I will be able to find a job in future. Like, the market won't completely collapse in the next 5 years. But, first things first, I have so many things to do on my bucket list. Climbing a mountain like Kinabalu, going to England, going to the Nordic countries, going to Vegas and New York and Miami...I have so many things I want to see, but do I have the time? The money? The ability to commit to it? I don't know. And I know how mad I get at myself when I really want something but am unable to get it. So...yea hope I am able to..

Second things second, the world is literally teetering on the brink. Wars, famines, rising temperatures, rising cost of living...will I have enough to go overseas and do what I'd love to? Would I even be alive HAHAHAH...and of course, can I even see the countries/regions the same way in future as they are now? Or will they be too far past their prime and be washed up (literally, in some cases)? 

Third things third, I am scared of dying. Like, I used to be absolutely terrified. But now it's better. But that still doesn't mean that I am okay with dying overseas in a foreign country (for whatever reason). I'd much rather die in SG, even if that means I didn't get to see the world. Something about peace at home yada yada blah blah..

Last things last, I just am a procrastinator. There are things already that I wanted to do in Uni but I know I won't be able to now. So, realistically, I think there's no way I will finish the bucket list, but hey at least I tried...to an extent? Hopefully. 

oh and also, i guess i am a believer? iykyk the reference. 

14/348: What is the hardest thing you've ever had to hear? 

I can't remember one specific phrase/sentence/paragraph, but I think it's the general idea of just..knowing that people come and go? Like people will come into your life, but to find a ride-or-die is so hard because everyone is bound to go different paths. It's not that everyone you know will drift away completely (unless they die..), like I know that even though my childhood bestie is in Australia now we still talk from time to time, and that I have friends from JC that I'm still closed to. But similar to Q11's tldr: things happen when you least expect them to. Losing friends is part and parcel of life, and sometimes your close ones are bound to go because it is just how life ends up: in one cycle, going to the starting point every calendar year, and just living the same thing over again the next year. 

People coming and going is really sad for sentimental people like me. But unless I find the cheat code for this goddamn game called life, I guess I will have to live within the 4 walls. 

- steve (just adding the signoff because I forgot to when I posted this)